Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Talk Back Tuesday: Sitting on the Fence

Have I mentioned my deep, abiding love for fences?

If I haven't, that's pretty surprising. Fences and gates live near the top of my list of  favorite things.   Sitting at the top of my list of favorite fences is this one. 

OK, technically, its more of a wall. 

It's the stone wall that surrounds the home of a friend of mine.  

Gorgeous, huh?

It starts at her home and spans clear to the other side 
of the house where her in-laws lived. 


These are  multi-generational stones.
They've been around a long, long time. 


That's one of the reasons that stone fences are actually my favorite fences.  
They have an enduring quality.

On top of that, they are the only fences that seem to be divinely designed. 

I mean, really...just look at them. 
Isn't that the perfect picture of a natural fit? 



Yeah, I think so too.

There's a reason for my ramble today, and it isn't just to share pictures of my favorite stone fence. The whole post was actually inspired by one single stone that had the nerve to jump off of it.


See?

Little rebel...

As I was snapping those pictures, I started wondering about that breakaway stone.  I wondered how long it took for it to decide to step away. You don't have to be a stone mason to figure out there was a mortar problem, but how long did it take?  I mean, did it keep on clinging through storm after storm after storm until it finally fell away, or was it one good storm at just the right moment?  Did it sort of inch its way off the wall, or did it grow old and tired and just plop down instead?



That's just the way I think...

If I were the kind of gal who looks for a sign in nature... and I'm not... that breakaway stone would have been a sign to me this week. You see, I'm dealing with one of those stone wall decisions.  You know the kind, the kind where you have to decide whether to fix the mortar in a figurative fence or step away from it. Fight or flight.

No, it's not a marriage thing... 

It is something that I love, though. It's an extracurricular activity  that is among my very favorite things to do.  You might even call it my passion. Like a stone wall,  it's also my natural fit. (Did I mention that I love it, too? Just checking...)

But lately...

Lately, I've been wrangling with loose mortar and constant storms. Lately,  I have wondered whether it is time to put down the trowel and exercise the flight option.

Can anyone relate?

I wish the whole flight thing came easily to me, but it doesn't.  Once again, I lack the courage.  You may not realize this, but to a certified, licensed  'fraidy cat, it can take just as much courage to step away as it does to step up.

So what does a 'fraidy cat do? Why, she sits on the fence of course.
And that's exactly where I am.


What about you?

Does stepping away from things come easily for you,
or are you a fence sitter too?

How do you determine that it's time to step away? 

46 comments:

elizabeth said...

If it's blogging you're thinking of stepping away from, I for one would miss you immensely!

Denise at Forest Manor said...

Debbie, I have been wondering where you've been; I've missed your presence in blogland. I hope you're not thinking of stepping away from blogging!? We would really, really miss you. And to answer your question, I don't find it easy to step away from things, not at all.

Have a wonderful day, my friend.

Hugs,

Denise

Maryann said...

I am the proverbial fence sitter, I literally have to be pushed off that fence by something or someone...it has happened from time to time. Guess that means I'm not too good at determining when it's time to step away. If it's blogging you are talking about, you would be missed

Debbie said...

Oh goodness could we really have even more in common? haha A fence sitter for sure over here... I soo get the effort it takes to just step away and move on sometimes. I am REALLY hoping it is not blogging you are considering stepping away from though. How I would miss you! Hope you are having a good day!

Oh, btw, that fence and yard is just GORGEOUS!

Ruth Kelly said...

What gorgeous flowers!

Barbara F. said...

Please don't let it be blogging! I would miss you terribly ......blogging should and can be without obligation. I am always thrilled to see a post, as long as I know you're OK. And your family is doing OK. You can definitely put things on a "back burner"......xo

Sharon said...

I am a fence sitter - mostly because I take my responsibilities and obligations so seriously. In the last couple of years, I've had a few really big decisions to make. What I do is this:

Seek counsel.
Pray like crazy.
Listen closely to God.

And then, when I think I have an inkling of the direction He wants me to take, I step out in that direction - trusting that if I'm wrong, He'll make that abundantly clear, too.

I (selfishly) hope that this decision doesn't have anything to do with blogging - I would miss you terribly, but I would also understand. (If you promise to stay in touch with me!!)

XO

Sonja said...

Debbie:

I just DITTO what Sharon said just above, all of it!!!

You'll know. Maybe you already do.

xo

Kelley Dibble said...

A: I am a strong-willed child (SWC) firstborn. I don't fly. I conquer, no matter the cost.

However, in my wiser years (moreso my 50s, but some of my 40s), I'm not as set in stone as I used to be. I take time now to sleep on things.

In the past, I have decided to quit... my marriage, a mother-daughter relationship, my blog, practicing-- a LOT of quits and "flights" I decided upon in frustration and anger.

Thankfully, though, the rock-hard matters to which I have COMMITTED I finished, enduring to the end. Not that it wasn't hard. Not that their weren't tears. But I had started, so I finished.

My priorities have certainly changed. My desires and goals have, too. So as I change, I do abandon those commitments that, although were right for me back then, aren't particularly right for me now. Sometimes those are the flight issues.

The stone hedges I invested in with bloodied hands, sweat and tears? That's a fight thing. It's not going anywhere on my watch because I say so!

Q: Why the stone hedge? To designate, and even legally, "This place is mine. I own it." Sometimes the property's well kept, manicured, with flowers and manicured lawn. Sometimes it's neglected and overgrown. But this stone hedge was placed here even a century or two ago, and it should not go anywhere. A stone or two may break away over time, but you notice it's not removed. It lies there as a silent testimony that it once belonged, and in a very real way, still does. Is it the stone's fault the builder didn't secure it? Is it the hedge's fault the stone broke away?

Q: For you, in light of Eternity, of what importance is it? In light of your other fight or flight commitments, where is it on the list?

To conclude on a frequent flyer's note, remember there's a roundtrip for every flight. You can go away for awhile, and maybe that's just what you need. On the flight back home, you usually see everything with new or at least fresh eyes.

Yakking,
Kelley~

Dianne said...

Maybe it is time for you to write a book.

Yes, I think you are that talented.

I would also miss you in the blogging world but once you figure out whether it is God's will that you stop or continue (if it is blogging you are referring to), I have no doubt that you will step up to the plate or go to the dugout and become the manager or something.

Because I did not want to stop and start something as I am prone to do, when I started blogging, I promised God that with his help I would blog for 5 years.

May 8 of this year will be 5 years. In fact, that is one one month from yesterday. Wow! that flew by.

Follow Him Debbie, whatever it is--I know that you will because I have seen your heart for him.

Blessings!

Crickit said...

Ok... now you are making ME admit it. I am a fence sitter. Easy is not always the best place and I know that God will lead you to your decision! Beautiful photo's by the way! :)

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Your friend has a very pretty property! Just take a deep breath and do what your heart tells you to do-it will be ok:@)

Merlesworld said...

If you love doing something you should always do it even if other people tell you you are wasting your time but if it takes over your life you should step back as see if it is taking up to much of your life, well thats my idea and l try and stick to it.
Merle.........

Beth @ E. lizard Breath Speaks said...

oh, i feel another friend is walking away from the bloggy world - that is scary. it seems to be "in the water" ... what is going on? i guess you have to do what is best for you. i would really miss you. i wonder why i have not had a sad time. i get frustrated but i guess take time away. take a weekend get away trip or whatever. get out working in the yard or whatever it maybe & get over it. i dislike this or that... but i try to let it go. ( :

see i re-read your post here & i wonder if you are not speaking on something else??! i think you have to weight your option - if you don't do what your heart is telling you to do ... you will not be true to your soul & mind. make yourself happy. feel fulfilled always!! find things that make you happy. & let it go. move forward. always. if it is tough for you - you have to find something that will ease you into the next step. when i was school a new outfit or something smaller would make it better. so do that. wish you well on what you are wishing to do. will you please tell us more?? big big hugs.

Denise said...

I remembered your love for fences and bridges just like I know of your other passions. You are gifted and talented and God gave you both the gifts and the passion. Selfishly you know where I stand on your decision but it's not mine to make. I'll continue to pray for wisdom and courage for us both whatever decision you make. After all, I'm a fence sitter, too. Hugs for you today sister.

BTW Great photos.

The Quintessential Magpie said...

I hope and pray that you aren't going to leave blogging, Debbie. Your wonderful viewpoint and love for The Lord mixed with your marvelous sense of humor cannot be replaced.

I understand, though, about fences. I've been on one for a long time in terms of what to do about the next step I need to take in my spiritual life. And there are all sorts of things interfering. At some point, I either need to get off the wall and hop on the train. The question is, when.

XO,

Sheila

Vee said...

I am selfishly hoping that you're not talking about blogging; however, if you are, I am pretty sure you are in the same place that all bloggers find themselves every now and then. The longer one stays away from anything, the easier it becomes. I would not presume to give advice. I've been pretty scarce myself.

Dayle @ A Collection of This and That said...

I used to be more of a fence-sitter in my younger years, but that all changed around 40 or so. I found myself doing things I loved to do, but somehow they no longer brought me joy. They had become burdens and I wasn't giving it my best effort. It was time to close that chapter.

I think we sometimes engage in activities because we feel others expect us to, when we aren't truly loving the whole idea. If that is the case, I say let it go.

Then again, if it's something you're still finding joy in, don't give it up because you feel you aren't living up to other's expectations. If possible, find a way to make it work for your lifestyle and your schedule.

Ultimately, for me, if something doesn't feel right, or if I feel like certain activities are controlling me, I generally walk away. Doesn't have to be forever, but taking a breather is always a good thing.

Good luck, my friend. I will say a prayer for you.

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Debbie, I do so hope it is not blogging you are thinking of stepping away from. I would miss you so very much. I am struggling with time for it and LIFE. And, trying not to feel stressed when I can only get to it once a week or so... I enjoy the "relationships" I have with my blogging friends... You know they were reporting on the news one night a few months ago about how a large percentage of people who do facetime are depressed after checking in there... and I pondered about blogging, and knew it was not the same. I am inspired and encouraged in the circle of women I have come to know... I HOPE it is something else you are thinking of walking away from... BUT, that said. You know what you need. No matter what it is... follow your heart and His guidance... blessings and hugs ~ t.

kitty said...

Gosh Debbie, you always have me thinking! I am definitely a fence sitter and a 'fraidy cat. I must ponder over things for a lo-o-o-ong time. I, like the others, hope it's not about you leaving Blogland, but whatever it is, do what you've prayed about and know what your heart tells you. xo

xinex said...

So beautiful, Debbie. I love stones, I love the natural look, what pretty azaleas!....Christine

CailinMarie said...

I am stopping by via a somment you lef ton someone else's blog. Your blog is lovely. I enjoyed the discussion about stone walls, and rebel stones. Someone once said to me - you have to know the difference between real growth and sucker shoots (she was a gardener) because sucker shoots look so pretty and they'll deceive you but they suck the energy from the rose bush. So she'd say, if "whatever it is" is taking time/energy/ etc from something else you love or need, then it is time to let it go. Easy to say...

Knitty said...

If you are thinking of leaving blogging to sit around and get stone, I will never speak to you again.

(I wish I could insert a silly picture here)

I am a fence sitter. By birth, I am a Virgo, born on the last day of that sign, but the older I get, the more Libra I seem to be. No, I don't really follow that, but my friend and I do discuss the traits that fit. I weigh consequences more than before. Libra and the scales, you with the fence sitting.

The bottom line is for you to do what is right for you. If this really is about blogging, you shouldn't feel pressure even though I sometimes do.

I will never have Pioneer Woman's readership but that isn't my goal. I will never be a petite dress size or run a marathon either. I write what I feel and because I enjoy the process. I dress my body as best I can and plan to do something to make it less sizable once I get off this fence...but let's not mention Libra and her scales at this time. ;)

Ann said...

I am pretty sure I know what this is about and I think you need to jump ship. That boat/fence you are on should be a port in a storm. NOT the storm itself.
When it becomes the storm, time to find a new port.

How's that for analogy? :)

Cheers.

Canadagirl said...

How is it when ever I get a chance to pop over here you speak RIGHT INTO what is going on inside of me??? Yes, there has been some time the Lord was loosening up the mortar. So when it was time it was easier to roll off the wall. I love this word picture and will remember it for a long time, thank you for giving it. I do hope you decide to share this allegory more.

Blessings and ((HUGS))
-Mary

Janette's Sage/Simply Your Decor said...

Oh I am late getting here..because I want to flee...anywhere, just run! So instead of doing what I know to do I keep thinking about how I can leave the wall...LOL

I am with you on this post.

I love stone walls...fences, because the material wasn't made by man, but by God. I also love that they stay for generations...in order to teach those of us who have come along years later

Great post...thanks for pointing me to your fence. I am trying to not take up the fence of offense this season...see you and I could go on and on about fences.

May the Lord show you what you are to do!

Chatty Crone said...

I have a hard time letting go. I posted a little about that today too. It is HARD! I guess when it starts hurting enough you will know when to fly... sandie

Alycia Nichols said...

Wow...the grounds of your friend's home are beautiful!!!! I wouldn't mind driving up to that each day or looking out at it each morning! There are SO MANY flowers!!!!!! I love the stone fence, too. Reminds me of Ireland.

It has often been easy for me to step away, but in recent years I have found myself standing my ground a little more earnestly. I seem to sense when things are headed south without a compass, and I turn 'em loose like a hot potato!

Christine said...

You sound like you are a very loyal person. Most of us sit on the fence once in awhile. Don't be to hard on yourself.
I found that if you take one, little, tiny, baby step, God will show you the where and how. You just have to to willing to take the itsy bitsy step.

(please say it's not about blogging!)


Manuela@A Cultivated Nest said...

I love stone walls! I've always wanted to have one and if we were staying here forever I would probably build one somewhere just so I could have one.

I totally understand about it being as hard to step away from something as it is to step up! Especially if other people tell you not to do it. I guess I sit on the fence until I get to the point where I can't take it anymore and then I decide.

Mary said...

Beautiful photos to accompany your on-the-fence decision! I think that gardening is an metaphor for life. Change for me is scary so I can relate to your sitting on the fence. I selfishly hope your fence decision is not about blogging though :)

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

Yes, I sit on the fence sometimes and when I don't sometimes I jump too soon and don't find out what is really the core of the situation. I hope you continue to blog, but I hope most of all you do what is best for you and the decision you make in whatever the situation is makes you happy. Hugs, Marty

The Polka Dot Closet said...

OK, so wait a minute...What is it you want to flight from? Your marriage, blogging, fixing your house....If it's your marriage..OK, if it is blogging NOOOOO way! And the stone, some kid probably jumped on it and knocked it off...I'm not much of a deep thinker.

Carol

Yellow Rose Arbor said...

Beautiful analogy, pretty photos. You are an excellent writer. I hope you use that talent further. You've had lots of good advice and you are a Godly woman, so your answer will come soon. Sometimes we just have to JUMP, and have faith that the net will be there!

As for me I do believe nature speaks to us! I have been on the fence many times. The hardest decision was whether to leave a beloved church I had attended for over 20 years. Now that was a hard one!

Only advice I can give you is to make the old "Pros and Cons" list and see which one is longer, and of course Pray, Pray, Pray!!

I understand if your decision affects all of us who would miss you a lot.

Katherine

BlueShell said...

Oh...That, my friend, is absolutely fantastic!!!
thank you for sharing!
Love
BShell

Sue said...

I understand perfectly, and all I am going to say is it better not be blogging:-)
Seriously though, I know that you will pray and seek the will of God in your decision and it will be the right one for you.

Kim @ Stuff could... said...

I never thought much about how pretty fences can be...I see them here. I can never make up my mind too well, there comes a time when we have to...choose

Sharlotte said...

What pretty pictures!Gorgeous surroundings!
Ok...I'm a fence sitter...I usually go with whomever is the more dominant person...but lately I've gotten off the fence and made my own decisions. It is scary, for me, but I pray a lot and continually ask for God's guidance.

Mrs.Rabe said...

I adore fences...picket and stone are my favorites!

I'm fairly good with decisions...I stepped down from leading a large homeschool co-op in the spring of 2011. I just suddenly got the sense and the peace that it was time. I haven't looked back nor have I missed it. I miss some of the ladies, but not the leadership nor the co-op itself.

Pray for peace in your decision. If you don't have peace about it then don't do it, but if you KNOW it's the right thing and aren't doing it, you won't have peace until you do!

Deanna

Laurie Ritchey said...

Oh Debbie, I hope you're not on the same fence I'm on. I may need to take your fallen stone in this post as a sign to me to take flight, but I know I won't, because I'm a scardy cat too. I hate making decisions. I hope you can solve your problem soon, and I hope you're not thinking of giving up your blog. You, your creativity, and your wisdom are so well loved by all who visit you. laurie

Angel said...

Dear Debbie,

We seem to be on the same page once again. I have been dealing with this myself lately. I am a fellow "fraidy cat" from way back and I feel that God has been challenging me to get off the fence, so to speak, and move out of my comfort zone.

Whatever you decide, I know God will lead you. How about we pray for each other and see what He does? We can compare notes later. :)

Kathleen said...

Listen to God, He will guide you!

barbara said...

Hi Debbie.... there's not much I can add to what your other blog friends have already said. Your needs and your happiness have priority over everything. Don't give into guilt pressure, however nicely presented...
Hugs and Blessings
Barb from Australia
xxxx

Kathleen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kathleen said...

Oh dear. Sitting on the fence is so uncomfortable! You'll feel better when you've made a decision. I think that's what I'd do. I think!

Thank you for your recent comment. Yes, I know that most Americans love this old country of ours and I do too. I really do. However, the USA leaves me breathless. Your beaches, mountains, farmland, old barns, canyons, gigantic rivers, wildlife, etc. etc. We each have so much to drool over don't we?

Jaybird said...

Oh girl...do I EVER know exactly what you are saying!!!!!! I have been musician/music director in churches for 54 years!!!(the current post has lasted 21 years) I love it! but I have done the same (more or less) thing for SO long, that I feel as if I am not doing/teaching as I should..maybe I feel that I am shortchanging the current group. If you come up with a solution, PLEASE share!!
Blessings to you,
J

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