Because I have the perfect stripper's body...

If you've read here long, you have read my true confessions of domestic inability.  What you haven't read though, is about something that I can do.

Because really, there is something.

I'm a  stripper.
Just call me Gypsy Rose Lee...

It's true. I've been stripping since the first year of my marriage, and I not only enjoy it, I'm pretty good at it. In fact, I like to imagine myself to be a master stripper. If you need wallpaper stripped off a wall or paint stripped off a piece of furniture, I'm your gal.

Believe it or not, it was just such a stripping adventure that has kept me occupied during these last few painful weeks.  That might seem odd to some of you, but I'm here to explain that it is actually during my weakest moments that I have the perfect stripper's body.

That's because stripping furniture correctly takes patience. It's not a hard process, but it is best done slowly and patiently, with long wait times between steps. What you're about to see took me two long weeks. It's a journey of many baby steps and intermittent rest stops.

Here's the deal. Recently, our wonderful neighbors offered (as in free...) this old dresser to my daughter for her post -college apartment.

The Lord loveth those cheerful givers.

It had all of the drawers; I had just removed one when this was taken. 

At first, we thought to paint it black, but then she saw this one from Pottery Barn.  We wondered if we could copy it.

So I checked the original wood.

Let's face it. Furniture is like people.
Some things just don't need a  strippin'.

Looking pretty good.

Rather than yak up my supplies, I just took a picture of the stuff I personally like to use. Actually, I prefer the Citristrip wash as well, but I ran out midstream and couldn't find it locally. 

Don't be a skimpy stripper.  Lay it on thick. 

I'm very good at that part, as you might suspect.

I'm not naturally good at the next part. That's the waiting.
You have to resist the urge to nudge it along just because it looks like this.

I don't care how crinkly and tempting it looks. 

It's not ready.

Don't ask me how I know...

Give it the full 30 minutes to work.  Give it more if it doesn't strip easily. See why I'm tailor made for stripping right now?  I needed those wait times, and I took them.

Ta Da!

It only looks that good for about five minutes. Then, it starts to gum up a little.

That's why you need the wash. 

And then, you wait again.
This time for at least 24 hours. 

And then, I sanded.  

OK, technically the husband sanded. 

That's an area that was a bit too much for me right now. 

I did sand some drawers, though.
I'll have to yak about my love affair with the hand sander another day.

Then, it was vacuumed and wiped and  tacked off, 

and the conditioner was applied to each surface. 

And then? 

More waiting

This time for the conditioner to completely soak into the surface.

At some point,  we sprayed the hardware with oil rubbed bronze. I spray in a box so I can do it inside.  I did all the painting and staining inside the house. It's way too humid here to do it outside. I'd still be waiting for it to dry. 

Finally, I stained it with red mahogany. I like to brush it on and wipe it with a rag. It's a great use for those 576 t-shirts that come with a college diploma.  

And then, you wait again. 

Let that stain soak in for at least 24 hours before lightly sanding again. 

Then, I rubbed it down with tung oil, 
and that's how it stands in its current condition. 

If she decides she wants a little more sheen or varnish, we'll wait about two more weeks to do it.

She says that she doesn't though.
She says she likes it fine just the way it is. 

How did we do?

Side by side

Maybe not perfect, but not too shabby either. It's even better when you consider the price of  this comparably sized one in the PB catalog was $1,499.00.

Ours was around $20.00 mainly to replenish supplies.
That's $1,479.00 in savings.
I think we'll spend it on shoes.

*****
Anyway, that's what I've been doing over my painful vacation.
I'm hoping to share this at Inspiration Friday  if it's not too late and Metamorphosis Monday.
I'll also be sharing at Debbiedoo's Copy Cat Challenge
unless I am successful copycatting a wall instead.
Just a party girl, aren't I?