I've Been Keeping A Big Fat Secret...

... and I'm just about to burst with the pressure of it all.

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You're probably not surprised about that. If there's any surprise at all, it's probably that anyone would tell me a secret to begin with. Generally speaking, I'm in the know about sixty seconds before we yell, "Surprise!".  We find it's safer that way... It's a well known fact that the distance from motormouth to blabbermouth is one pigeon- toed duck waddle.

But I'm here to report that I did it. Yesirree folks, I have kept a big secret for a few weeks now, and this is the first moment that I 've been allowed to share.

It's about those yellow ribbons we've been tying since last summer and a favorite niece who has been longing to see her husband's face.

Well, folks, her wait is over.  Thursday evening, she headed to the airport for one of those hopelessly romantic "Welcome Home" kisses.

In my head, it looked something like this:

I'll just have to be satisfied with my imagination since there are no pictures of the moment.  Oh, it's not for lack of trying. Her mother and I wanted desperately to tag along. We're kind of intrusive like that...

I volunteered for the job of mission photographer and even proposed a strategy called Operation Shiny Red Kodak. I can't divulge military secrets, but it involved a bivouac at the Savannah Airport and a large potted plant.

It was nixed by the commander. Apparently, she didn't want an audience.
Bet she got one anyway.

Since I couldn't be company photographer, I opted to do my part by keeping the secret and getting her front porch spiffy for the homecoming.  The second part was my idea. Anyone think he noticed?

Yeah... me neither, but it was my gift nonetheless.

Of course, this whole story begs the $20,000 question...

If his wife knew all about it, why all the secrecy?

Because his parents didn't. 

You  see, Lt. McNephew's grandparents are celebrating their 70th wedding anniversary this afternoon. They've planned a big party with their seven children and gazillion grand and great-grandchildren. They're all expecting the niece. They just don't know that her anniversary gift will be wrapped in fatigues.

I just hope with all those gazillion grands, somebody thought to bring a shiny red Kodak.

So anyway, that's my big fat secret. Pretty good, huh?  I don't plan to see much of the two of them for the two weeks he's home. After a day or two with his family, they are heading to some undisclosed location, away from prying eyes and intrusive aunts.

Ah, love...

Welcome home  Lt. McNephew... 

You are very much loved,
and you have been very much missed.