Saturday, July 14, 2012

A Strip Tease

It's hot here people.
I know... I know...
 It's summertime. 
It has always been this hot. 

Maybe so, but I haven't always been 50. 
It seems to be worse this year than ever. 

I'm thinking of moving to Siberia and becoming a stripper
 until this raging hormone thing is over. 

Since that's probably not a reasonable option,
 I have come up with a different plan instead. 

If you need me, I'll be in Siberia.  

Lovely, isn't it? 

Siberia is a rarely used bathroom in the most remote corner of the house.  Outside of family, no one even knows Siberia exists. That's because I keep the door closed so as to employ the ostrich method of decorating.

What you can't see can't hurt you.

The shower in this room has never been used. We have plenty of others around here. The commode is rarely used either,  and this lovely '80s vanity area? It  has been used for the past decade to store my attempt at an emergency food bank.

In fact, Siberia has become the vast wasteland of the home place, hiding all manner of my schtuff.

Teaching supplies in the shower;
teaching career in the toilet. 

Now folks, please don't think that I'm the one who gave this room a case of the blues. I didn't, at least not intentionally.   If you have read my Big Fat 80s Kitchen story, you might recall that we purchased this house for its size and location, even though it was covered top to bottom with '80s wallpaper. 

Blue and peach '80s wallpaper. 

Really, that was the color scheme of the entire house. 

You'll might also recall that I had done my stripping act all over this joint until I developed a severe case of sheetrockaphobia whilst stripping in the guest bathroom. (Which is not this bathroom.) 

 SheetrockophobiaThe unnatural fear that ugly '80s wallpaper
 has been superglued to bare sheet rock 
and will bring said sheet rock down with it upon removal. 

At that point, I threw up my hands, shut the door, and started pretending that the wallpaper didn't exist. The blue shower liner and towels were remnants of our first home so I just stuck them in there with the rest of the blues. In for a penny; in for a pound. 

But here's the thing:

Not only is this room the most remote corner of the house, it's also the coldest one. That's because it's the first one on the line of our monster air conditioning unit. When the door is closed, which it generally is, the room becomes a freezer. 

Are you following me here?

And so, with a little long distance encouragement from a very practical daughter, I have decided to spend the  rest of No Buy July as a Siberian Stripper.  

Which  is an upgrade from my usual role as Siberian husky. 

 And the best part about it? Stripping wallpaper didn't cost a dime.  In fact, repainting it didn't cost a dime either. I had a nearly full gallon of the yellow from my kitchen just waiting for a home.  

So here's the strip...

And here's the tease...
(The blue curtain will go. I'm just hiding something behind it.)

That's as far as I've gotten, but I have more plans for Siberia by the end of the month.
You see, I'm changing it from a Siberian wasteland
into something much more useful.

And I'm determined to do the entire thing without spending a dime.

Want to guess what it's going to be? 

By the way, just one bit of advice as I close this:
If you're searching google images for a picture to illustrate a blog post,
it's best not to type in the words

Don't ask me how I know...


Apple of His Eye said...

You are a hoot! Can't wait for the big reveal!


Gina said...

Haha! I could use a little Siberia now myself. Have fun in there!

Christine said...

Dealing with the common problem of being 50 has it's challenges.
I thought you were going to Siberia to shower. That's how I know a few 50'ish women deal with heat.

Siberia needs a new name, now.

Barbara F. said...

I am very impressed that you are painting in 104 degree heat, even with a/c. Can't wait to see the big reveal. xo

Ann said...

ROTFL! Too funny .... try a google search for beauty pagents ... Hannah wanted to be in one in the 7th grade so we did a search .... WHOOPS! I can only imagine what you came across by searching for "strip tease." LOL!

Looking forward to the final reveal!


Ann said...

ROTFL! Too funny .... try a google search for beauty pagents ... Hannah wanted to be in one in the 7th grade so we did a search .... WHOOPS! I can only imagine what you came across by searching for "strip tease." LOL!

Looking forward to the final reveal!


Beth said...

i'm laughing. hilarious!! to funny!! i was wondering what you were going to come up with when i saw "strip tease". hope it is something you enjoy & not something that is a real chore. have a good weekend. (:

Vee said...

Anytime a gal can kill two birds...or more...with one stone is a good time. I love yellow so I'm liking the change so far. Course it's not going to feel so cool in there without the blue because blue is cooling all on its own, right? That aside...a pantry in the shower? Why is your teaching in the toilet? Oh I have too many questions...moving right along...

Joan said...

Can't wait to see the finished product!

Now if you want cold, I just got home from Alaska. The coldest July 4th I've ever experienced. I confess, I was a bit ready for warmer weather. :)


Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

LOL!! I'll keep in mind not to google strip tease. You are doing amazing work while stripping in Siberia. Glad you've found a cool spot so satisfy your creative (and hot) little self. ;) blessings ~ tanna

Mevely317 said...

Wishing I could find a little Siberia here ... alas, our home's too SMALL, and I'm too BIG to fit in the fridge!

Can't wait to see what's behind the blue curtain. My first guess? Someone(?) will to rip out the bathtub and install a little (blog) business center in that nook.

Terra said...

Keep cool in Siberia, and I can see you did a lot of stripping in the past. LOL

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

That's a big project! I love the yellow, actually, this house still has the original yellow tub and toilet from the 50's:@)

Susan (My Place to Yours) said...

Oh, MAJOR wallpaper stripping memories here. Wallpaper from the early 1900s, not the 1980s. Thank goodness for concrete walls so I could stab and jab all I needed to! I'm glad you got yours off and the walls painted. Can't wait to see what you do in Siberia!

Kelli said...

We've been stripping around here for weeks...wallpaper that is! So excited that you've said goodbye to the 80's and hello to yellow. Can't wait for the reveal. Thanks for your sweet comments which always brighten my day :)

Anita said...

Wow, Debbie!! Too funny but honestly I am right there with you looking for some place cool. Oh the 80s. What will really be funny is when one of my daughters comes looking for some cool, vintage 80s stuff one day. I kind of get why my mom thinks I'm crazy for wanting all this 'old 50s and 60s stuff." Your makeover will be great!! Stay cool, lol!!

Sue said...

You are one busy gal, I needed this inspiration today, as I have some painting to do myself, and have been wanting to find a good excuse to postpone it, but simply have run out excuses, The age thing I wore out a long time ago!
I am sitting here trying to figure out what you are going to do with this room! so hop hop to it please and let me know soon, you know the old say "Curiosity killed the cat"! LOL, and I have just about run out of my nine lives.

Denise said...

All I'm going to say is, you didn't have the nickname Boom-D-Boom-Boom-Boom for nothing! Strip tease indeed. I can't wait to see your finished project and I know what it is. But, I'm not telling...

Knitty said...

Would you believe I never had a hot flash? Hubby has been so disappointed. He thought we might occasionally agree on a comfortable temperature if I just warmed up a bit, even if it came in flashes.

The heat is back on is SE Michigan so I am happy to have air conditioning. I like warm, but I'm not a glutton for heat!

Regarding looking for terms online, my first experience years ago was before Google was a household term. I searched for "Knit" and "knitting", looking for patterns and articles that might interest me. I kept finding lesbian websites. What??? The ones I found were for "close knit" groups of women.

* eye roll *

Those sites weren't offensive, just not what I expected. If you ever try to find the White House online, their site doesn't end in dot-com. I haven't visited the dot-com site, but I hear it isn't something most of us would want to visit.

One last story on this subject, there is an age old children's wooden toy called a Jacob's Ladder, among other names. I searched for it to show someone who didn't know what I was talking about. Oh boy! Close your eyes and get off some of those pages!! There are male only body piercings that go by that name!

Not only do I NOT to want to see such things, I don't want those searches showing up in my history. You know, for when the NCIS team shows up to search my house because of something scandalous that I've posted. Actually I'm just looking for Leroy Gibbs (Mark Harmon) to show up, but the rest of the cast is welcome too. ;-)

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Way to go girl...we both know that having little or no budget doesn't keep us from being creative, it just allows us to be even more creative....this is looking great...way to Go Girl...enjoy!

The Polka Dot Closet said...

OK, I'm going out on a limb here but, I bet it's going to be a .........Bathroom? HOw fun to work in the cold..I'm going to Google Strip Tease!


Chatty Crone said...

Stripe tease = bet you had a lot of hits.

You are so funny. Can't wait to see what you are doing.

If it is that cool in this heat - I'd use it as my office!

Love, sandie

The Decorative Dreamer said...

Haha! You are so funny! Lucky you to have a cool room to retreat too, even if it is a bathroom. Our master bathroom is the exact opposite as it is the last room on the end of the unit. I am usually trying to get ready very fast just to get out of there without breaking a sweat these days. I cannot wait to see what you are transforming this room into. I'm wondering if it's still going to be a bathroom after reading your post. It is right? You tease! :)) Have a beautiful Sunday!

Kelley Highway said...

Q: How do you know?

Oops. I wasn't s'posed to ask that.

Can't wait! Are you having fun yet?!

Dayle @ A Collection of This and That said...

I have one of those wastelands ... boy, do I. I wish I had your energy.

renee @ Singing With Birds said...

You are a tease and I'm so excited to see what you are up to. I must admit after 108s in Boise last week, I'm glad I'm older than you!

Denise said...

You are very funny.

Shannon@Cozy Home Scenes said...

Oh you kidder you! I love the color you are using so I'm thinking whatever you're up to it is going to be pretty. -----

Ms.Daisy said...

I can always count on a good time on your blog - you come up with the neatest ideas. I can't wait for the reveal! LOL! I'll be waiting for the shower curtain to be pulled aside and. . .
One of my favorite colors is yellow and it will be bright and help make the area look larger. Good going girl. FYI, I am now going through the "hot flashes" along with you - yes, even at my age because of the medication I'm now on! UGH. Where is my Siberia??


Francie...The Scented Cottage Studio said...

oooh nice to stay cool while working... and sigh I am still dealing with wallpaper pasted onto wallboard, what a mess ! It's only been ten years and counting but I might just get the entryway finished this year.
Looking forward to the big "reveal"

Sooner Laura said...

MANY SMILY FACES! You are such a gifted writer - enjoyed this immensely! (and what a creative use of summer, renovating the coldest room in the house)

Angel said...

You. Are. Too. Funny!!!

If I could, I would move to Siberia with you. This heat is too much!

Can't wait to see what is revealed after this latest strip tease. I'm sure it will be as lovely as the rest of your projects when you get through with it.

Happy Stripping!

Mary said...

Debbie~ Your posts always make me chuckle! I have a vast wasteland of a bath too. I bet you thought you'd be inspiring folks to roll up their sleeves and tackle projects with this post~ but not me, instead you've given me inspiration to stack shelving in the shower for more dish storage :)

Barb said...

Hi Debbie,
I like the yellow you are using in/on Siberia.
In my home,Mum feels the cold and has the heater on while Hubby feels the heat and has the air-con on high.
They both like the windows and doors know keep the heat/cold out.
Soooo....In winter I'm in short sleeves and barefoot....and in summer I'm in long fluffy slippers and warm cardigans.
I hope the heat eases for you.
Looking forward to your 'big reveal'.
Have a good week
Barb from Australia

Debbiedoo's said...

Been hot here too. Can't wait to see the big reveal!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Loving the wall color and looking forard to seeing what else is going to happen. In the meantime, I'm loving reading your posts, because they usually make me laugh out loud. laurie

Bunny Jean said...

Hi Debbie!

Well at least it is a nice cool place to store your emergency food/water supply!

The bathroom in my Casita (small guest house) is full craft supplies and bottled water.

xoxo Bunny Jean

FrouFrouBritches said...

I really need to learn to start reading where I left off. I've already seen the finished product. So impressive by the way.

You are cracking me up with the Siberian stripper comment. Hilarious. Although, they might like a woman of my....girth in Siberia. Extra fat to keep warm, right? That's a LOT of warmth too. I could melt snow, I'm so warm. ;)


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