Of Della, Demons, and Dying Divas

So the report from the computer doctor wasn't all bad. Della isn't terminal after all. I did, however, manage to short circuit half of her memory and her keyboard in the unfortunate coffee incident. This means that  Della is not only menopausal, but senile and mute as well.

Don't drink and blog people. Don't drink and blog.

I'm currently awaiting parts to arrive by mail so Mr. Scottish Thrift can play doctor. In the interim, he has kindly offered the use of a small silver contraption which he calls a computer. I call it a timely reminder that Della the demon possessed laptop wasn't so bad after all. I've named him Winky, in honor of the Popeye face I use to read his tiny screen.

In other news, Whitney Houston has passed away.
Just thought I should mention that for my Siberian friends.

Now folks, in the two years that I've been blogging, I have pretty much stayed away from posts of opinion. (Walmart lamentations not withstanding...) I don't voice my opinion because I'm a neurotic people pleaser who really doesn't want to be known as Pot Stirrer on Wheels.

But sometimes... sometimes... I just can't hold my tongue. 

Today is such a day.

 I'm sorry in advance if this is less than people pleasing.

Let me say up front that I'm a huge respecter of talent. I also understand that the death of certain public figures can bring sadness in the hearts of fans. Even though she hasn't made a public appearance in years, I'll still feel blue when my favorite actress and singer passes away.

I get it.

What I don't get is how folks trade simple admiration for a gift well used into fanaticism. What I don't get is the obsession with celebrity to the point of idolatry.  

Yes, I know Whitney isn't to blame.  I also know that  she isn't the first star on the receiving end of overkill, and she won't be the last. I'm too young to remember Marilyn Monroe, but I do remember Elvis Presley and  Michael Jackson.

This isn't about them. It's about us. 

For whatever reason, Whitney Houston was not only given an incredible gift, she was also allowed to shine in the spot light because of it.  Was she talented? Without a doubt. Was she more talented than the average good singer? Yeah, probably so. (Although more fame doesn't necessarily mean more talent.)

But folks, that's where it ends. Whitney Houston  was an entertainer.  She didn't contribute more (or less) to our society or our nation than millions of people who walk among us every day.  Yet to hear the media, one would think that we had lost a national leader. The flag will even be flown at half staff in her home state.

Really?

Have we completely forgotten the significance of a flag at half staff? It's a symbol that we are a nation in mourning, not that we have lost a pop star.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't recognize the death of Whitney Houston. Play her music.  Lament her loss. Remember her gift. If it blessed you at all, then thank the God who gave it to her, but really folks, our culture needs to get a grip on the whole idolatry thing.

Because that whole idolatry thing? It really has a grip on us.

Of course, that's just my opinion on the matter. What's yours?

Don't Cry Over Spilled Coffee

So riddle me this:

What do you get when you cross an already demon possessed laptop named Della with a spilled cup  mug full of very strong coffee? 

Answer:  A very sick Della. 

She's currently in Intensive Computer Care at the local computer hospital. Maybe they'll cure everything else that ails her as well....

Just trying to look at that mug half full, folks.  The giant sucking sound you hear is the sound of my new furniture being pushed back yet another month. That makes estimated date of arrival somewhere around December 2023.

Posting this from the husband's office computer lest anyone think I've been hurled off a cliff or something.

'Cause I'm sure you missed me, right?

Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Well, I missed you anyway.

*****

Comments off 

I mean, really,

aside from "Bless your heart",

what is there to say?

Blogger Schmogger and Moving Monday

Just a quick post from me this morning since we have a big day around here.

I got a comment from Patti@ Fill My Cup with Beauty on my last post about some blogger issues.  As it turns out, I'm having some of those same problems. I had blamed Della the Demon Possessed Laptop, but apparently, the gal has been falsely accused.

photo credit

Random blogger quirks for both of us include 

1. Blogs that will not update on the homepage, leaving  you unaware of updates. One of my blogs not only will not update, it shows that it doesn't exist if I click on it. It does exist.  
 
2. Discovering that you have "unfollowed" a blog with no intention or knowledge of doing so

3. Random, mysterious blogs showing up on your followed list. Cue the Twilight Zone theme...

4. Unintentionally following yourself, like a dog chasing her tail

5. Trying to follow a blog 45 different times only to have it refuse to show up as followed.

And I have another oddball one that Patti didn't mention:

6. I had a trial blog and profile before I started Words on Wheels. Lately, every time I try to follow a blog, it comes up as that other old blog, although  I have deleted that blog. It's like it's stuck on stupid.

Can you relate to any of those problems? 

Any suggestions?

Don't tell me to ask Bloggerman. 

He doesn't exist.

In other news, we're leaving soon for what I'm forcing myself to call an adventure. (Back off, would- be burglars. We have a doberman, and she's packing an UZI. Her name is Duchess...)

The Practical One has decided to play her own game of 

Mother May I.

 It went something like this:

Mother, may I take 532 giant steps away from home?

No, you may not...

It didn't work. Apparently, God said, Yes, you may, and in the lawn game of life, God trumps Mother. We're leaving this morning. I have packed my shiny red kodak, and I'll be searching for some sunshine.

Would you like to know where we're going?

No, you may not...

Yet.

I'm just a little black rain cloud

 Let's review, shall we?

First it was the mysterious picture eating blogger bacteria.
Then, it was Della the Demon Possessed Laptop and her amazing whirly swirly circlet...
And then, some careless logger managed to black out power in a ten mile radius.
And then, a random act of senseless incompetence played peek- a- boo with the internet for an entire weekend.

Did I mention that after that particular adventure,

 the husband's office computer simply gave up the ghost?

I didn't?

It did.

Did I mention that Della still whirly swirls on a regular basis?

I didn't?

She does.

And then, of course, there's the air conditioner. I haven't mentioned the misadventures of the upstairs heat pump, either. I was planning to keep that tidbit to myself so as not to earn the title Blog Jonah and get tossed out of the blogger boat.

So it should come as no surprise to anyone that I have another technological failure to report.

Rest in peace,  shiny red Kodak.

To my credit, I didn't cry.

She had been a bit finicky of late so I'm not completely surprised. The "before" shots of the closet left a bit to be desired as did some pictures that I felt the need to take en route.  When she literally did a fade to black as I was snapping,  I kind of suspected what I would see when I uploaded.  A new battery didn't help. The old girl is apparently done.

Worn slap to death, I imagine.

Therefore, although I did indeed finish the closet reorganization, the "after" shots will have to wait...

Unless you want to squint your way through pictures that look like this.

I didn't think so.

Musta been da debil.

Uncle!

That's it.
I'm calling uncle. I'm throwing in the towel. I'm waving the white flag. In every expression possible, I surrender.  You win, Blogger Man, wherever you are.

As if I have not been  busy enough for the past few days with planning, teaching, and trying to get ready for a big upcoming weekend, I am being held hostage by a whirly swirly arrow circlet which will let me neither open nor comment on blogs with any kind of ease or consistancy.

If you've seen me in your neck of the woods,  feel privileged. It means I actually had the patience to sit through 17 whirly swirly attempts to get your blog to load and the subsequent 45 clickless endeavors to get a comment to post.

Behold. I stand at the door and knock...

This has been going on for several days, basically since I reopened the blog after the little  makeover. I can see absolutely no reason or connection to this whatsoever other than the coincidence of time. What could redesigning my own blog possibly have to do with visiting all the others?

Nothing, I tell you, absolutely nothing.

Yet, apparently Blogland is some sort of  Brigadoon which, if you step out for a few days, disappears in the mist for a hundred years.

It isn't my computer or internet connection. I seem to be able to pop about in Email Land without a problem. I can open message boards. I can surf the net like a googling Gidget.

But open a dashboard and try to visit and comment on blogs?

Nooooo.

I'm tired of fighting it. I have become convinced that some sort of gremlin really does live inside this computer.  If he's not gobbling up my pictures and belching them up in a distorted vapor across the screen, he's stealing my Irish Growler. (Because no matter what you can see, my own screen still refuses to growl.)

When the sun comes up, I'll be going for a walk and stepping away from Della the Demon Possessed Laptop before I pick her up and toss her out the window.

Please know that if you don't see me in your neck of the woods, it is not for lack of trying.

Before I go, I have two questions that I hope someone can answer.

#1... Can anyone relate to this specific problem?

# 2 What in the world do you call this tree

currently blooming along the 30 mile country commute?

The blossoms are the palest lavender

and stand up straight on the branches.

It sort of looks like a terrified wisteria to me.
What is it?

The Great Disappearing Act

I have two very good reasons to be absent from blogland this week. They came home Friday for spring break.  If you’ve read here very long, you know that everything goes on automatic back burner when my two favorite coeds come home from college. I like to hoard my time with them.

Today, I’m down to one. The Practical One has left to bask in the sun on Hilton Head Island for a few days so it’s just Mom and The Whimsy, and I hope to take advantage of her considerable talents while holding her hostage. You see, the girl is a computer whiz.

And I’m what you call technologically challenged.

This isn’t a new revelation. I’ve fought it my entire life. In college, I made a (B) in a total crip course called Educational Technology. Apparently, I can diagram a compound complex sentence with a double gerund, but I can not thread the film into a 16mm projector. No matter how hard I tried, it still spit streamers of celluloid all over the table.

Just like that reel to reel tape recorder.

And forget about synchronizing sound. My films always sounded like a bad Japanese movie.

As a young teacher, I meandered to the copy room one day and was greeted by a Xerox machine wearing a sign that said something like this:

Mrs. B-

I am a machine.

I do not respond to begging,

scolding,

or angry whacks with the palm of the hand.

Please do not kick me.

Such a smarty pants I worked for…

Technology may have improved in the past quarter of a century, but my skills have not. Computers are my natural enemy, and I’ve killed about a dozen of them since the dawn of the cyber age.

The Man of the House blames it on my unwillingness to learn. He must be right because I’ve read tutorial after tutorial and I still don’t know the difference between a blinkie and a button and can’t figure out how to center a picture in a header let alone shrink it.

I would ask for advice, but I probably couldn’t figure out how to follow it anyway.

On top of it all, I’m an impatient clicker.
And if one click is good, a double click is all the better.

clickclick…

On a regular basis, my screen becomes demon possessed and fills up with little blog boxes which multiply faster than I can double click a red (X). I usually throw my hands in the air and scream a little before doing the only computer move I know.

Control alternate delete…

I said all that to say this:

I have been trying to change the look of my blog for some time now, but apparently predesigned templates and centered pictures are above my pay grade. I thought I would dink with it while that daughter is home to handle the fall out.

However, because I don’t want to be a cyber spectacle as I tackle changes, I’m making the blog private for a few days while I do it.

Just thought I should mention it a day or so before I lock up.

I’ll be back.
I hope.

But if something happens, and I inexplicably delete myself from blogland,
It’s been really nice knowing you…