Tip of the Day

I am not a tip snob.

You know the type, the ones who will not try anything unless they conjure it in their own imaginations. I’ll pretty much try any reasonable suggestion. And that would be the reason that I can tell this story and pass along this tip to you.

It all started over 20 years ago when my girls were babies, and I was sporting the haggis baggis face of the utterly sleep deprived. During this time, I read in some magazine that in Hollywood when they want a quick face lift, they apply Preparation H to their faces. Apparently, the product shrinks and tightens, giving a faux face lift.

I decided to give it a whirl. I hightailed to the Walmart to find the stuff, which I then felt the need to hide under the mound of less personal items in the cart. I also felt the need to yakkity yak my experiment to the cashier as she scanned it. (Because apparently, it was better for this total stranger to think that I would slather a product designed for the hinder parts on my face than for her to assume that I actually suffered from hemorrhoids...)

So I got myself all gussied up, determined to put my best face forward when the husband returned from a long week on the road. There I stood, waiting for him to notice my marvelous makeover.  I lifted my face expectantly for the welcome home smooch.

He leaned forward.

But then he stopped…. pulled back…. sniffed the air… and said, “I smell Desitin.”

Well, great.

 I had forgotten to take into account that the scent of Preparation H resembles that of the  medicated ointment slathered on offending baby butts during a diaper rash disaster. Let's face it, when you are trying to recapture a little romance, the last memory that you want to evoke in your man is that of a blistered baby bottom.

Therefore, I wouldn’t recommend it.

So, I was a bit cautious a while back when I read a similar suggestion for a face fix. This one did not provide the do it yourself face lift, but it did promise to prime the face for make up with the effectiveness of an expensive primer.

Now, if you are under the age of forty, you probably do not understand the need for a facial primer. Neither did I. When I was younger, I could slap on a little mascara and foundation and zip out the door. Somehow over the past 30 years, it became a bit more of a craft project. Apparently, “we” have discovered that forty plus faces age like weathered old pieces of wood. Therefore, a little primer to fill the cracks before painting is now recommended.

The cosmetic companies have capitalized on this little tidbit by schlepping very expensive tubes of make up primer to desperate housewives. Now, weathered barn face or not, I am way too thrify  practical  cheap to pay big bucks for some silly facial primer. 

But I was interested when I read that the ingredients inside those expensive tubes are precisely the same as those in this tube of Monistat Chafing Gel:

For about six bucks, I decided to give it a try.

Well obviously, this little tip is a keeper since I’m bothering to mention it. It actually DOES give this old barn face a smooth surface. I know this, not merely from observation, but because I’ve become a walking bill board in my little town. The first to notice this face miracle was my hair stylist, and she has heralded it about to all of her friends, family, and customers ever since.  Now, everywhere I go, I am stopped by some random 40 something female who inspects my face and gives me the two thumbs up. I had two such encounters yesterday alone.

So there you have it: Miracle in a tube for about six bucks.
And it's even fragrance free.