Monday, August 22, 2011

I know why Van Gogh chopped off his ear

He was trying to stop the family wokking. 

I figured it out this weekend when both the Sister and the Duchess wokked in my ears regarding some changes made in my little corner of Blog Land. Apparently, they did not like the change I made to my comment box.  Apparently, it’s a tad annoying to them.

So I’m changing it back.

I’m very obedient that way. Plus, I’m kind of fond of my ears. True, the left one is useless beyond the role of earring holder, but I like the symmetry so I’m keeping it.

In other news, I got a little blog award from Patti @ They Don't Make Them Like They Used To this weekend. I’m actually not passing this one along. (I hope that’s OK…) but I am playing along for a little fun and blopspiration.

So here ya go. Seven more completely random things you never wanted to know about me. Every word you are about to read is true. No one in her right mind would make it up.

1. My mother-in-law still spells my name incorrectly after 27 years of marriage, and I'm afraid to correct her. I tried for two decades to pass along the clue but finally gave up. It's easier just to sign my notes Debby and be done with it. 

2. I am absolutely terrified to come home to a dark, empty, house on Wednesday nights so I booby trap the place to stay one step ahead of the serial killer. And yet, I feel the need to lock myself upstairs and watch Criminal Minds once I make it up there.   

3. I absolutely will not taste something with a spoon or fork that has touched someone else's mouth. Blech.  I won't stick my own spoon into a soup bowl if another one has been there first, either.  I will, however, suck the leftover chicken off the bones on my husband's plate. Go figure that one out. 

4. I am a magnet for newspaper photographers. This one extends to the entire family. Opening day at Publix? There I am, pushing Miss Whimsy in the buggy.  Town Meeting? There we are.  Public prayer vigil?  There we are again, lifting holy hands. We can be standing in a crowd of thousands, but somehow, some way, the photographer is going to hone in on our faces. Or worse.

There is no greater joy than opening the local newspaper the day after an election to see your big old patriotic patootie staring back in living color, above the fold, as you’re bending at the booth to do your civic duty. It's captioned too, just in case someone in a fifty mile radius didn't recognize the husband's boney bahonkus  right along side it and the tiny hands of your daughter resting on each for contrast.  

5. I'm a remedial gum chewer. No matter how hard I try, it dissolves in my mouth. Give me ten minutes, and I pulverize  Bazooka Joe into a teeny gumlette...which  I matter what the Duchess says about innards sticking together. I'm 49 years old, people.  At this point, I'm more worried about my innards falling apart.  

6. I am too friendly for my own good. I absolutely can not remain aloof if someone is trying to strike up a conversation with me. This is the reason that it takes me so long to meander through Walmart. This is also the reason I know that the unfortunate looking woman who hangs out in the nail salon is actually a 67 year old cross dresser  named Bill. 

7.  I think Bill has a crush on me. 

And on that note, I'm finished with my magnificent 7. 
 I do hope that someone, somewhere,
can relate to at least one of them. 

And for the record, if you want to share some random facts about yourself, consider yourself tagged. 
Just be sure to let me know so I don't miss out on your fun. 


Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Hee heee, snort, heee. From Lori.~As I am known to my husband's grandmother.

Ann said...

ROFLMAO ..... OK Debbie ...ooops, "Debby" .... I am NOT laughing AT you, but with you. You have got to send this one to a magazine! I have and do similar things .... but have never been able to put them into words, or "word pictures" as you do! I visualize everything you write. It's so easy to do so.

Hope your ear has a rest today. : D

Ann (and sometimes Anne)

Denise said...

Blahahahaha! It was a good thing I didn't have coffee in my mouth or my computer would be shot! I was aware of above items except for #1. I can relate. The husband not only cannot spell my name correctly, he has a hard time remembering my birthday!

And, I've never thought about it before, but why is it that we're newspaper photo magnets? Every last one of us! Even the Duchess. Or mostly the Duchess?

The funniest by far, however, was your relationship with Bill. He was there the other day when I got my pedicure and I wouldn't look his way. I know better thanks to you.

Great post. Thanks for letting us help you keep the earring holder on your face. I like my old comment box.

Ruby Jean said...

I LOVED your Seven Wonders...Especially the one about your Mother-In-Law...that was too CUTE...
for me at least.. : )
Happy Monday to you...

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Cool! What a nice way to accept the award Debbie. My factoid: I played Lucy in the 6th grade musical of Charlie Brown. Yep I did, of course I've never been asked to sing again... ever:@)

Sonja said...

I was in a serious mood today, yep... doesn't happen all the time, so I was kind of enjoying it... until...

This caught me so off guard, and I am sitting here all by myself, laughing like a loon.

'waiting for the serial killer as you watch Crminal Minds'... is exactly what i would do, and yet when you write it out in words it's hilarious when YOU do it, and doesn't seem so strange anymore.

I have people call me 'sylvia' instead of Sonja, they always have, I am the same on this one... i've quit trying to correct it!

As to pictures. I still think for an 'older' lady, I look pretty good... until someone takes my picture!!! And shares it with the world!

oh yes... this one changed my serious face today... you continue to make me not only laugh, but laugh like a crazy lady!


FrouFrouBritches said...

OH MY WORD! You are cracking me up! I love random stuff! #1 - I feel ya. My great-grandfather called me Tamara until the day he died! AND my name is TANYA ("a" as in apple - not O) and yet I answer to almost anything.
#2 - Me too! I keep my alarm set at all times and am terrified of haunted houses but I always seem to watch Celebrity Ghost Stories and whatever murder mystery I can find. DUH! #4 - Please find that picture of your patriotic patootie and post it ASAP! #6 and #7 - YIKES! and HILARIOUS!

Barbara F. said...

This was hilarious, I am the same way with "forks and spoons", if I am in someone's home for dinner and I see them put the spoon back in the pot after they tasted it, I totally lose my appetite and turn it down as graciously as I can (suddenly I don't feel well). I am not brave enough to ever watch "Criminal Minds", and once in a while someone I've known for years will spell my name "Barbra" - I don't sing :) xo

Ms.Daisy said...

You have had me laughing out loud with your wonderful sense of humor. People are forever calling me Joan and when I worked with a gal named Joan they called her Jean and me Joan - after awhile, we both just answered to whatever name we were callled. Too funny! I also love to watch "Criminal Minds" and scare myself to death until I finally have to turn it off to save my sanity. Oh, the visual I have of your two booties in the paper is just too much. Love, love, love this post!


Patti said...

OH, Debbie (with an "ie"), I love this! You are SO amazing with your writing. You paint word pictures so vividly! As I said in my award post (you did read it, didn't you?), you aren't just a are a writer...and a fabulous one at that!!

So obviously you and I won't go to a tearoom and share a dessert, huh? No two forks eating off the same piece of cake!

We are quite alike with the fear thing, though I do believe I've grown out of it a bit. But when I was first married, my husband traveled alot. My friend Suzette always came to spend the night with me...we called it Patti sitting.

And on those rare times when she couldn't come over, I would sleep with all the lights on, and I would put a little end table in front of the front door...that way, if someone broke in, they would knock over the table and I would hear them. Of course, what I would do if I heard them, I don't know.

Do you remember in the early 90's there was the serial killer in Gainesville, Florida. (He's since been executed.) Well, before they found the guy, I was totally terrified. After all, I was only 2 hours from Gainesville, and I was sure he was coming my way. I was freaked out even when my husband was home.

Blessings and hugs,

Pat@Back Porch Musings said...

I enjoyed your random things. J encountered someone in line at Aldi who started a conversation with him by saying she lives alone.:-)

no spring chicken said...

So sorry Debb-y, I can't relate to a one. You are definitely in a class by yourself!

Blessings, Debb-ie

At The Picket Fence said...

Oh Debby! That truly was the magnificent 7!!! I do so many of the same bobby (can't type that word without smiling which must mean I'm not really grown up yet) trapping the house and then watching something scary. Why do we torture ourselves? This was absolutely the perfect pick me up for my afternoon and I'm grateful to know I'm not the only one who makes new friends when they go to Wal-Mart! :-)

Chatty Crone said...

I love when people take time to post pictures and personal things about themselves - helps me to know more about the person and I can vision what they look like!

Great items of interest! Loved it.

Joan said...

You are right no one would make this up. :) I can relate to Jean. I worked in a bank for years and one customer never called me by my right name. I was either Jean, Jane, or June, but never Joan. After a while, I just gave up answered to whatever...

By the way regarding my blog, you might try to unfollow and then refollow. That worked for someone else. (Just be sure to follow, LOL!)

Yellow Rose Arbor said...

This is so cute! I can relate to the spoon situation, I hate to eat after someone else, and my dh loves to share spoons, etc! I also can't stand to have my flatware on the bare table at restaurants!


Mevely317 said...

Oooh, I'm LOVING #2! For a gal who lived alone a good chunk of her adult life, I've turned into a real whuss when DH is out of town - checking out the closets and under the beds ... while all the lights in the house are a-blaze.

PS ...I totally ditto what "Chatty" just wrote!

The Polka Dot Closet said...

Oh I am with you on #3 Sorry about your butt being in the news paper, and quit scaring yourself with TV shows!! Thanks for a good laugh!


Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

LOVE Criminal Minds, too. hee hee. Loved this post, as all your others, Debby. (okay, that just wasn't niced! LOL!) Things like that little tidbit are the crunchy nuggets in the trailmix of life. Blessings to you, Debbie. Tanna

Maryann said...

Loved your random seven, you always make me laugh. I can relate to your #1, once someone has decided my name is Mary, there is nothing I can do to convince them it's Maryann, I just give up and go with it.

Lynn Richards said...

Really? No warning at the beginning of this post to beware that coffee will come out your nose while reading this????
Thanks for the gum tip. I won't let Brenna have gum, as it only last all of 4.5 seconds before it is swallowed and she is grinning from ear to ear.

elizabeth said...

Love your list LOL!!! I'm of the too friendly for my own good persuasion myself. Poolside on vacation, by day two I know everyone's life story. Drives my husband nuts, being a pastor on vacation he prefers to withdraw from people and enjoy the peace and quiet. He doesn't understand people like me, and you, have an invisible target painted on us that says, "free counseling available here" or something like that!

Anonymous said...

Debbie, I SO needed this. I literally laughed outloud, but then again, I often do when I stop by your place. You had me in tears with #2. hahahahahaha LOVE it., I mean it, thanks. ;)

Anonymous said...

Had to check again to make sure I didn't type Debby. ;)

Crickit said...

Congratulations on your award! You are a very gifted writer and I always look forward to your blog posts.

As for your 7 random things we get to "learn" about you... I don't think that I have laughed so hard in my life! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

As for dem bones... my hubby ALWAYS chews the tiny last bites of meat off of my spare ribs, even when I think all of the meat is gone! LOL

Have a Great Week! :)

Kim @ Stuff could... said...

I do not remember what you changed about your comments, sorry but I have those memory lapses. Your list is so funny, keep up your humor. It makes visiting here a joy! I cannot eat after other people either.

My Journey With Candida said...

Oh my gosh!! You are tooooooo funny!!!
I do have to agree with you, I do NOT eat after others. Lot of good it did me, I ended up with parasites anyway. Probably came from having dogs as a kid.

Sharon said...

Debi, Debby, Deebee,

How I delight in you! I so needed this laugh today. Thank you for the guffaw-inducing ab workout!

OK, I'm going to play along. I'm going to add something of my own to your random 7:

1. I used to go by Shari. You wouldn't believe the many permutations of that one. My favorites? Shavi and Chari.

2. Yup, also terrified of the dark, and wildly in love with all sorts of crime stuff on TV.

3. I suppose if you kiss a man, you can eat anything off of his plate. I am also very finicky about pre-used utensils or double-dipped food.

4. I have never been photographed. I have patootie envy now.

5. I can't chew gum - it gives me a stomachache. I think it's because I swallow too much air. You swallow gum? Bubble gum??

6. My sons constantly tease me about the "random strangers that are now Mom's personal best friends after 5 minutes." Evidently, I can't stop the tide of my yakking.

7. Bill has a crush on you? Just promise me one thing - if he ever comes up to you in the salon and asks if he can "nail" you - please run away.

And be sure there's some paparazzi around to take photos of it.


Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Too funny and entertaining as always...and for number 6...well that is my husband to a tee...and his name is Bill...we all wait for him forever!!

I just recently had some bubble was fun to blow bubbles...I was trying to teach Benjamin how to do it...try to teach that to a five year old

Have a great post...I always receive a laugh here

xinex said...

I am the same about about used spoons and forks and also love watching scary movies and then be the first one to be scared.....Christine

Jenny said...

We might possibly have the same mother-in-law.

Although once I became her EX-daughter-in-law, ironically she spelled my name correctly in the mean letters she sent me - ha!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

DebbIE, I always know that, no matter how badly my day is going, I can come over here and be uplifted. I have laughed my way through this post. Until the day he died, my f-i-l thought my name was Laura. I LOVE that picture of your little girl with her hands on the two of you while you're voting, and I sure wish that view of me looked as good as the one of you. I think the news photographers zoom in on you two, because they're looking for the best looking couple in the group. I also often learn more about others than I want to know. You made me want some bubble gum, which I also pulverize and swallow, but my elderly teeth would probably all come out of my mouth if I chewed any. Thanks for all the joy you bring to my life. laurie

corners of my life said...

I love little insights to my blogging friends. Thanks for your seven more completely random things. I am picturing every single one.

Angel said...

Girl, You are a HOOT! Thanks for the laughs today. I needed them desperately. And, yes, I can relate to more than one of your magnificent 7. :)

Marlis said...

oh my.. those are funny. I love the one about your best side in the camera lens.. what a hoot. also the Debby thing.. Let's see.. I can relate to the spoon thing. totally.. xo marlis

Sue said...

So fun and funny as always Debbie ~ or Debby ~ I envy you your way with words!! I relate to the serial killer, except at my house he is the ax murderer!! I turn on the alarm and settle in for Alfred Hitchcock movies ~ there is no method to MY madness.

Kelli said...

Chuckling as I go to sleep! I too love gum and hate coming home to dark houses! Priceless photo at the voting booth!!!

Sue said...

Do you see me rolling on the floor, Debbie? Another question, does you MIL read your blog? ~grin~ My MIL did the same with my name, and I just went along with her.
I thought I was the only one who chewed dh chicken bones lol I now find myself in good company!!

I think you must be related to my dh as no matter where he goes, he is always looking someone to chat with, most of the time when we eat out I end up eating by myself as he is all over the restaurant chatting, therefore when he comes back to the table, I have finished, I either sit and watch him eat or I will go back to the buffet and eat some more, guess which one do. lol
You are a breath of fresh air, thank you for sharing.

Please tell the Duchess, that I am honored that she will take the time to read my blog, as well as your visits and sweet notes . My Mother bought herself a computer this summer and is yet to take it out of the box, I would so love the Duchess and my mother to meet, as they sound so much alike.
Enjoy your day, I am still rolling.

Canadagirl said...

How fun is this !?! I love getting to know you a bit better. [o= I have done this sort of post when I was first blogging about 6 years ago. I think I will have to do one real soon. I need some light heart-ed-ness in my life right now. I have so many big projects I am feeling a bit STRETCHED. Laughter is a good thing.

Blessings and ((HUGS))

Holly Lefevre said...

I so got a chuckle out of your random facts! I LOVE Criminal husband tells everyone that if anything ever happens to him...that I watch so many serial killer shows/ look tome first.

Lovin' that picture of your behinds!

Canadagirl said...

Debbie my SSiC (sweet sister in Christ)

I just wanted to let you know you are in my prayers and I will miss you while you are away. Enjoy your time away and be still and know that He is Lord. Take time to heal and catch up on your wonderful projects. Sending you a extra BIG cyber (((((((((HUG))))))))))

Blessings and ((HUGS))!

Yellow Rose Arbor said...

I hope you are feeling better!

Thanks for the comment!

Tanner is loving Mercer!!

Love and prayers,


Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Just so you'll know... I'm missin' your yakking and I'm sending prayers for your precious hands and body to find comfort. blessings ~ Tanna

Alycia Nichols said...

OK, so I'm just getting around to reading this, and I am laughing so hard I can hardly type! You have lost your mind!!!!!!! :-) This is SO funny!!! "Unfortunate looking woman"...TOO funny! You should give Bill some tips. I have a cross-dressing friend who is not the prettiest at all. He could be if he tried a little harder. I have to remind him to keep his eyebrows well-groomed (his look llike Abe Vigoda and Brooke Shields had a baby!) and to loofah those hooves he calls feet before putting on such loud nail polish that calls attention to them. Don't worry...I'm not saying anything here that I don't tell him directly to his face. If you're going to do it, DO IT, I tell him!!! And stop wearing those Aunt Bea dresses! OK...enough about that. I'm going to show him this post so he can get a laugh! Anyway, I love each and every point you made. I'm thinking you may need to consult a counselor about #3. That's just not normal!!! :-) Hilarious! You made my day! Have a good weekend!

Mindy said...

I'm so glad I found your blog! I'm reading it backward so when you start getting crazy comments on past post I hope you don't mind. I can relate to number 6. I used to worry when my kids were younger because how could I expect them not to talk to strangers when I was always doing it. Thankfully, I don't think Bill has a crush on me.


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