The Morton's Salt Girl

Miss Whimsy wears glasses.

Actually, she wears contacts, but she has glasses.

Half inch coke bottle lenses in stylish black frames.

She’s as blind as a bat.

And I am ashamed to admit (but I will of course) that she needed those glasses long before she actually got them. I received a big fat “F” on that particular Mommy Test. I thought that she was faking.

Now, in my defense, The Whimsy was a well known faker. We had to keep a suspicious eye on any headache, tummy ache, or fit of dizziness for the ulterior motive. That was the first reason that I suspected fraud. The second was timing. This eyesight lamentation appeared to be in direct response to her  friend's new pair of eyeglasses.

 A beautiful pair… with little kittens on the side… or so it was reported to me. Repeatedly.

So I figured that the issue at hand was not at all about the eye sight but about the fashion statement.

I told her to sit near the chalkboard and squint.

Some months later, our local Service League volunteered to do eye examinations at our school, and Miss Whimsy was delighted to report that she was given “the note.” Her teacher phoned that evening, and she said, "Now Debbie, I think you should take her to the eye doctor, but you should probably know that she was handing out high fives as she emerged from the examination room. I have a strong hunch that she failed that test deliberately."

So I took her to the ophthalmologist, and I whispered to him that what we had was a  possible case of  fashion fraud of the copycat kind. He assured me that they had ways of sorting truth from fiction.

And they did. Miss Whimsy, he reported, was in dire need of spectacles.

At the end of the examination, the doctor looked at me and laughed. “I’ve been doing this for many years,” he said, “and I have never seen a kid so excited about a pair of eyeglasses.”

So we picked out a pair... with little kittens on the side. She was delighted.

Well, the newness eventually wore off. She has been wearing contacts for years, but periodically, she sports the specs, more for the fashion statement than anything else.

Now, you might be wondering what set me off on my ramble this morning...

Well, it's this:

Today was our first rainy school day since Easter, and it's kind of miserable out there. But when Miss Whimsy opened those blind eyes, the first thing that she said was, “Is that rain?” And she hopped out of bed, giddy with excitement. She showered and dressed and skipped down the stairs with a big goofy grin and twinkling eyes.

As we closed the door on our goodbyes, Super Dad just shook his head and chuckled. And he said, “I never saw a kid so excited about a pair of eye glasses.”

I giggled back because I knew exactly what he meant.

Only today, it was a new pair of these:

Rain boots...with little whales on the side.

And that's one of the 4,726 reasons that I love the kid. When life gives her showers, she puts on her happy boots and dances in the rain.