Friday, May 14, 2010

Invasion of the Sprout People

We’ve been completely enjoying the fruit of our his gardening labor around this house. We’ve had an abundance of lettuce, spinach, and broccoli so far, and I am tempted daily by budding beauties from Produce Paradise.

Our garden runneth over….

But there is one little glitch.

I’m the one who has to harvest it, and I must do so without an encounter with creatures of the crawling sort… which I know are in there. I know this because when the beds were less dense, I discovered some little green hoppers, and I’m no fool. If the hoppers come, can the crawlers be far behind? No, they can’t.

So I announce my garden arrival by yakking very loudly and kicking the sides of garden boundaries. Then, I take a broom handle and sort of shoosh it in and out of the plant sections, stopping periodically to listen for leaves which keep on dancing after I’ve stopped shoosing. And then, I separate the leaves with that broom handle for further inspection. And then, I pick.


Remind me again why I insisted on this garden…

The system was working fine until last week when I headed out to harvest some spinach and found it completely surrounded by a jungle of leafy green bullies so dense that I thought I was going to need a machete to hack my way through it. It wasn’t bad enough that they were snuffing out my spinach; they had created a broom proof snake haven to boot.

I was miffed.

So I called the husband and tattled on them.

I described the leaves and location, and he said, “I think those are your brussels sprouts.”
As if he had nothing whatsoever to do with them…

OK…technically, he’s right. These are my sprouts… which I requested… because I alone like to eat them. That being the case, it seems to be a disproportionately sized jungle, doesn’t it? Perhaps I should have remembered that I was dealing with a literalist and requested brussels sprout-t-t-t. Singular.

Too late. I will have enough sprouts to feed an army. It’s true. I googled it, and apparently, each one of my 4,726 green bullies will eventually look like this.

I can not possibly eat them all by myself. That’s not good for fellowship.

I can’t freeze them. We aren’t equipped for bulk freezing. We have two freezers, both attached to a refrigerator. And I need room for ice cream. This is southeast Georgia, and I have my priorities…

I can’t even share them. I requested the sprouts for the simple reason that I can rarely find them in the grocery store. And there’s a reason that I can rarely find them in the grocery store; there is no market for them. Again, this is southeast Georgia. On our little piece of the planet, there are three vegetables: okra, butter beans, and sweet corn.

Only the oddballs eat brussels sprouts. I can’t even give them away. I suddenly had a vision of myself, standing out in front of Walmart, holding up a sign next to the “Free Kittens” people.

So my only recourse is to use The Amazing Power of my blog to recruit some more sprout people. I shall begin today with a little tutorial and recipe for Grilled Brussels Sprouts and Vidalias.

So here we go:

* Start with fresh  sprouts of a uniform size.
(Please do not use frozen sprouts and blame  me for tastelessness, people….)

* Trim the yukky leaves and cut off the stems.

* Cut an (X) in the stems…

Actually, I don’t know why you should do this.
I only know that JUNE does this, and therefore I do it too.

*Steam sprouts for 3 minutes (on the stove not in the microwave... and please, do not boil … see step #1 above)

While they are steaming, mix together
*2 tablespoons of olive oil
*1 teaspoon of garlic powder
*1 teaspoon of  Weber's Kick'N Chicken seasoning.

Because that's what I have around my house. Probably any seasoning would be just as good. Dink with this at your leisure.

* Coat the steamed sprouts in the olive oil.
* When cool, alternate on skewers, with chunks of Vidalia onions  (Again, see step # 1 above)

 Grill for 5 minutes on each side 

And they should look like this. Really.... they should. Then toss both veggies in the remaining olive oil and serve.

Seriously… delicious.

Now, can I interest anyone in some brussels sprouts?

Linking this to Foodie Friday again... although I'm really late to the party. And if you're conspicuously late to a party, it's not all that wise to be the one standing there holding brussels sprouts, is it?
 It's tough being back to work this week.


Jennie said...

Do I like them because I'm not from southeast Georgia? Those look AMAZING!

Jennie said...

P.S.- I'm stealing your applicable quote idea and using it on my blog. I love that feature! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Debbie said...

Oh goodness! Thanks for the reminder. I forgot the applicable quote.

And you probably like the sprouts because you're an oddball too. Just a hunch...

ButterYum said...

Well high there Debbie from GA - Your post had me cracking up - you're so funny!!! I'm so sorry I don't live in GA, because I would happily take your extra sprouts off your hands. My favorite way to make them is to oven roast them, but I've never grilled them like you did. I'll have to remember that next time. Anyway, if you'd like to roast them in the oven, stop by and read my post about them.

Take care!


Amy Kinser said...

They look delicious. Great garden coming up. Good for you guys. We don't have anything ready yet but I didn't plant any spring veggies like you did.

susan said...

My husband asked me why I was cooking baby lettuce the first time I served brussel sprouts when we were newlyweds! He was a third child and his mother never made him eat anything green :) I have never seen them growing, but sure wish I had some fresh ones! Now I KNOW you must have peas in Georgia :)to go along with the butterbeans, corn, and okra!

Gail @ Faithfulness Farm said...

Oh, we LOVE the lowly brussel sprout. Your recipe looks wonderful. My favorite way to make them is lightly steam and then saute in browned butter. YUM!! We've grown them before and they are great to grow. If those are yours in the top picture, they can use thining out which should make them more friendly neighbors to the spinach and less of a snake haven :)


FrouFrouBritches said...

I do not share your love for brussel sprouts, however, I do share your feelings about creepy crawly creatures! EEWW! I did make some the other day for the family and I totally boiled them. OOPS! Next time I might try to grill them like you showed. Don't tell my Hubby I said so, but they actually look pretty good that way.

ButterYum said...

Well hello Debbie - Aren't you the nicest person ever. Thank you for the lovely sentiments.

Oh yes, I'm sure you could candy orange slices exactly the same way. I actually was planning to give it a try some time. Limes would be wonderful too... and how about ity-bitty slices of kumquats - how cute!!


Lynn Richards said...

First off, I LOVE the word "shoosh". It covers a multitude of things so very well.
Second, can you ship gorgeous brussel sprouts to southern calif.???
I am drooling over your recipe!!! I don't see many fresh brussel sprouts, either. I wonder why? Plus, I put in cucumber plants and they were dead within a week. Nice.

Kelli said...

You are just the laugh I needed today...almost we my pants!! LOL! You and I are alike in that I detest those creepie crawlies with ya! You made those sprouts look so yummy. I'll take some!!

Leslie, the Home Maker said...

U funny gurl!
I LOVE Brussels Sprouts- I will give you my address and you mail the "excess" to me!


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